Post-Results Blues

This last two weeks, I have been concentrating on  partial derivatives, gradient, curl etc,
as I delve (pun intended), into the murky waters of applied mathematics.

I have to say that I really have mixed feelings about this subject.   I know that I mentioned earlier this month, that applied mathematics is a lot of 'hand waving'; however, my tongue in cheek comments actually hide a little bit of fear and trepidation about this field of mathematics.

I though that doing pure mathematics first: analysis, groups and linear algebra; would have made the applied subjects an easy win on my study journey.

However, I am finding myself a little stressed as I self-study the  O.U course MST209 (Mathematical Methods and Models).

It isn't the difficulty of the material, since I believe that M208 is equally as taxing.  It is simply a case of my brain seemingly being better at abstract maths rather than applying the maths theorems to models, making assumptions and knowing which units the final answer should be expressed in.

This has caused me a small issue.  That is, in the back of my mind, I can feel a little bit of tedium creeping in; and, dare I say it, some boredom too, as I go through the applied examples in MST209.

This is causing me two problems.

Firstly, after the heady 92% pass in my pure maths exam, I have now lurched into a mild state of panic.  I have 18 months of applied maths modules ahead of me and if I am finding it a bit tedious now, how the hell am I going to be able to sustain my concentration when things get tough in June next year.

Secondly, I have a little voice at the back of my head that is whispering, "you don't like applied maths, do you?"  I don't know whether to believe that voice, or whether it is just some self-destructive thought pattern, trying to provoke me into shifting to a safe study path.

I know that I am going to be excited about studying quantum mechanics in February.  However, what if I can't shake this feeling of doubt and tedium?  Will I be able to cope with Electromagnetism, if I can't stand the sight of another damn Maxwell equation?

I do hope that these feelings pass.