Life's ambitions.

Iv'e been a bit sick this week, hence the lack of posts.  Anyway, it hasn't stopped me from ploughing ahead, with  my MST121 final coursework.

I have now completed all of the readings of new material from the course; and I have now completed and submitted, the CMA covering the Statistics chapters.  It is now all about finalising TMA04 and the other CMA that covers the whole course material.

Also, I had a bit of a wobble this week, as I found myself struggling to bring forth, from my memory, the rules and identities for integration.  Specifically separating the variables, and differential equations involving double angle formulas and trig identities.

It led me to ponder the question, as to whether I should be economical with what I am covering or learning, i.e. learn what I need to, just to pass the exams and TMA's, without worrying about trying to commit the entire course to memory.  Or, alternatively, whether I should be fastidiously digesting all examples, all proofs and all learning points, to the point of mastery.

I guess it all comes down to what the end goal is.  My end goal, is not just to pick up qualifications, but then it got me thinking; what is my actual goal?  It is not as easy to identify, as one would imagine.

I decided to examine the steps carefully, and try to extract my reason d'etre, in the process.

It went something like this:

A.   I Want to score maximum marks in all of my exams and TMA's.

Q.   But why?

A.   Because I want to be sure that I fully understand all of the concepts and material.

Q.   But why?  It's not required, to pass the course and gain a good (2.1) degree.

A.   Because I want an excellent degree( 1st)

Q.   Yes, but Why?

A.   Because I want to know that I am intellectually capable enough, to study the subject at postgraduate level.

Q.   But Why?

A.   Because I want to eventually study a PhD.

Q.   But Why?  It's 10yrs of training, will cost a fortune to fund and the remuneration is not fantastic.

A.   Because I want to produce something original, that no one else has ever produced.  I also want to spend my twilight years, pottering about doing maths and physics research, surrounded by learned people;  not retire, playing Golf and Sudoku.

Q.   Ah, now we are getting somewhere! - So it is about creating unique legacy and also being part of a community of like minded people?

A.   Yes - That's exactly it.

Q.   So, most people feed that need to create something unique and to leave a legacy, by having a few kids - but you want to spend tens of thousands of pounds and thousands of hours, doing maths and physics that no ordinary person could give two hoots about?


It was at this point, that I told my inner voice to shut up, and I went down the pub, for a pint and a curry.